A Free Will Problem

This one is going to be hard hitting.  It's extremely personal for me, because you'll find part of my own story in these words.  See, I've walked away from church.  I swore years ago that I would never darken the door of a church again.  Why?  Because Christians are the most judgmental, hate filled people I know.

I have a friend who I've shared my "exit" with, and the reasons.  He repeatedly says "Yes.  That's Satan trying to destroy from within."  I was thinking about that yesterday, and no.  That's a cop-out.  Let's stop blaming Satan for man's choices.  For man's judgment.  For man's hate.  Let's put the blame squarely where it belongs.  On men.  On women.  People who CHOOSE to act.  People who CHOOSE to hate.  People who CHOOSE to judge.  Maybe Satan planted an idea in their heads, but they still CHOSE.  They could have said "no."  And should have.  But they didn't.  They willingly chose to judge.  They willingly chose to hate.

I suppose it goes back to Adam and Eve in the garden.  But it goes deeper than that.  It goes to what we were taught about Adam and Even in the garden.  Adam and Eve eat the fruit.  God confronts Adam.  He points at Eve, "that woman made me do it."  Eve points at the serpent, "the serpent made me do it."  No responsibility for their own choices.  No "yes, I did eat the fruit."  That should have been the end of it, don't you think?  God confronts, and Adam says "yes I did."  And maybe he follows it up with "so, now what?  I know what you told me.  So, what happens now?"  It would have been an entirely different story, wouldn't it?

And we do the same today.  Men demand that women dress modestly because "woman, you're causing me to stumble."  The Bible only says "cover your private bits."  (Sorry.  Writing that is a little too much, even for me, so if reading it is too much for you, I apologize.)  MAN has created rules (man, not woman) that women have to be fully covered.  As little bare skin as possible.  That's the dress code.  Why?  Because, as the same friend I mentioned above told me once, "she's keeping me from having lustful thoughts."  No.  If you're having lustful thoughts because a woman is showing some skin, that's a you problem.

So, let's stop with this.  Let's stop the nonsense of blaming everybody else for our own short-comings.  No more "the devil made me do it."  No more "Satan is causing this."  Let's take responsibility for our own actions.  Especially when those actions are driving people like me away from the church.

The church doesn't have a "sin problem." The church doesn't have a "Satan is attacking" problem.  The church has a free will problem.  God gives free will, and men and women in the church abuse it.  They could choose to serve God's purpose.  Instead, they choose to serve their own.  

And before anybody yells at me, yes.  I'm saying this to myself, too.  I've lived 30 years in the church.  I've learned the same teachings.  And I have to unlearn them.

The Disciples on Easter

On Easter, I can't help but think about the disciples.  They were devastated on Friday, when Jesus died.  Yes, Jesus had hinted that He would rise again from the dead, but I don't think the disciples really caught on.  So, we find them scattered, grieving on Friday night.

Then Sunday comes.  Peter and John enter the tomb, after being alerted by Mary and Mary.  I can just imagine the look on their faces.  Imagine walking into the tomb, and finding it EMPTY.  I wonder.  After the initial shock, did they look at each other, and say "oh, so THAT'S what he meant"?  

I'm reminded, as I think about the disciples, of what God showed me a few years ago with a tapestry, or a quilt.  On Friday, all they could see was the mess on the back side of the quilt.  All of the loose threads, the back side of the seams.  They didn't see, didn't realize, the big picture.  Then, on Sunday, they see the front side of the quilt, the beautiful side.  That's where my comment in the last paragraph comes from.

Psalm of David

If you were to ask me what my favourite book of the Bible is, I would answer Psalms.  Not one of the Gospels, or one of the prophets, or Revelation, or Paul's letters to the churches, but Psalms.  Why?  Because of David's raw emotions.

David was no stranger to suffering.  He was pursued by Saul, and in fact, Saul had signed a death warrant, so to speak.  

Many of the psalms open with David's raw emotion.  He was desperate.  Sometimes he felt abandoned by God, I'm sure.  He cried out to God to rescue him.  

But, then, half way through the psalm, something shifts.  David turns to praise.  Why.  How is it that David, in the midst of his despair, could turn to praise?  Because He knew the One.  He knew that God is in control.  He knew that God knows what He's doing.  And he found comfort in that truth, I think.  And that comfort?  Drew him to God.  I wonder, though, if there's more going on here?  David is known as a man after God's own heart.  I suspect that, in the midst of David's suffering, God showed up.  God spoke to David, and reminded him.  And David?  When God reminded David of His promises, that reminder caused David to turn to praise.

Goodness of God

 Fair warning:  This post is raw and unfiltered.

There's a song by Jen Johnson of Bethel Music called Goodness of God.  Every time I hear it, the chorus gets me, because of my childhood.

I really want to zero in on the first verse and the chorus:

Lyrics removed due to copyright restrictions.  They should not have been included in the first place.

I struggle with that.  Was God REALLY faithful during my childhood?  Through the abuse and the bullying?  Was God really holding me in His hands, through all of that, and so much more?

Let me answer those questions like this:

back in June, I was asking a pastor friend about God's goodness in my childhood.  He told me that God weeps with me.

One day this past October I was stuck on that song again, so I went back and read those messages and as I was sitting there, God pointed me at Ecclesiastes 3.  Here....   

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

And now I'm stuck on it in a good way.  Meditating on the fact that there is a time for suffering.  And knowing God's promise to be with me in it.  Y'know what...  this is a journey, and I want to walk it.  To find a new perspective on who God is.  Not the God preached in mainline evangelical churches, but the God of the Bible.  The God who walks with me in joy and sorrow.

Be Like Jesus

Allow me to paint a REALLY stark contrast, here. Compare the modern day church, and how they have essentially shunned the LGBTQ community, with Jesus. There are countless examples in scripture showing what I mean.

Matthew. If you know anything about the cultural climate in Jesus day, tax collectors were hated as much as the modern day church hates the LGBTQ community. Not only did Jesus welcome him in, he became part of Jesus' inner circle, and a writer of one of the gospels.

The woman caught in adultery. She's never named, but she's really important. Her community was about to stone her for her sin. Enter Jesus. Jesus rebukes the community, and welcomes her in. I wish I knew what happened to her after that, y'know?

The woman at the well. She had five husbands (not all at the same time, c'mon, now!). She bore shame, so she went to the well when she knew nobody else would be there. Enter Jesus. He again welcomed her in.

Zaccheas. I think he was a tax collector too, wasn't he? Jesus shared a meal with him, while people around him protested.

Mary Magdalene. As a prostitute, she faced stigma in the community. Jesus welcomed her in, too.

My last example is a bit different. Remember the story Jesus told of two people in the temple? One, society considered to be a righteous man. He's praying, and he says "Look at me, Lord. Look how good I am. I follow your commands, I do all these things." The other is identified as a sinner. He says "Lord, I'm not worthy to be here because of my sin." Which one did Jesus welcome in? If you said the sinner, you're 100% correct.

I have one more thought here, and then I'll quit preaching. While we pick and choose what is sin and what isn't, Jesus welcomes ALL. In a world where, in the church, ALL does not include the LGBTQ community, Jesus not only welcomes the LGBTQ community, he embraces them.

Friends, brothers and sisters, be like Jesus.

Blessed Be Your Name

The song "Blessed Be Your Name" is easy to sing when things are going well.  the question is, what about when times are tough?  What about when you lose your best friend?  Or lose your confidant?  You lose your companion?  Blessed be your name?  Really?

What about when you lose your job?  The bank takes your home?  You have a bad car accident?  What about when you lose your home because of a fire?  Or, you lose everything in that fire?  Blessed be your name?  Really?

What about when your marriage falls apart?  Your spouse walks out?  Your children rebel, and get into trouble?  Blessed be Your name?  Really?

Let's look at the big picture.  God's plan.  I'm learning that I can't see the big picture.  The truth is, it's just too big.  The part of the picture that I can see is right here, right now.  The pain and sorrow.  But, I can also see the end:  eternity.

I have a small picture of what that will be like.  To be honest, I can't wait to get there.  I long for the day when I will see my Savior's face.  When all of this will pass away.  I call that homesickness, because I am longing for home.  Beside that homesickness is hope.  That hope carries me.

What do I mean about the big picture?  God's plan?  The reason for this?  I mean that God has a bigger plan.  A plan to refine us.  A plan for eternity that brings hope.  James tells us that these trials bring perseverance.  Matthew tells us that we must be pruned, if we are to bear fruit.

As I have walked this journey, I have heard a lot about trust.  At every step, I have heard God say "Trust me."  God knows what he is doing.  God's plan is for good.  A while ago, I asked God where the good was in losing my best friend?  In losing my confidant?  In losing my companion and advisor?  The fact is, all of this stuff works together for good (Romans 8:28).  We have to look at the big picture, which we can only see a small part of, and trust that God knows what He is doing.  All of the trials in our life make us stronger.  They build our faith.  They strengthen our spirit.  They help us to become the man (or woman) of God that He wants us to be.  Blessed be Your name!

Trust In The One

Then he got into the boat and his disciples followed him.  Suddenly a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat. But Jesus was sleeping.  The disciples went and woke him, saying, "Lord, save us! We're going to drown!"  He replied, "You of little faith, why are you so afraid?" Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm.  The men were amazed and asked, "What kind of man is this? Even the winds and the waves obey him!"  (Matthew 8:23-27, NIV)

As I read this scripture tonight, I found it amazing.  Not because the disciples were amazed that Jesus calmed the storm.  Not because Jesus calmed the storm.  But because in the midst of the storm, Jesus was calm.  He was asleep.  That's right.  He was sound asleep!  He didn't even notice!  Was it because He's God?  Was it because He could calm the storm?  Or was it because He trusted the One who could carry Him through?

I believe it is because He trusted the One.  He trusted that God is in control.  He knew that the storm would only last for a brief moment.  He knew that all things work together for good, that something good would come of this storm in his life.  So, as the wind howled, and the waves crashed, as the boat was tossed, he put his trust in God, and relaxed.

There's a powerful lesson here.  When the storms of life come, don't panic.  Put your trust in the One who can carry you through the storm, and rest assured that this storm will bring something good in your life.